Here is a piece of recipe for success:
"take the obvious, add a cupful of brains , a generous pinch of imagination, a bucketful of courage and daring, stir well and bring to a boil"-- Bernard Baruch
Let us look at that bucketful ingredient in Bernard's recipe:
Are you reserved, easy going and cool headed? Do you prefer your works seen than yourself? If yes, let us have a chat.
While I will not judge your conclusions of yourself, I will like to be certain your conclusions really describe you.
To start with, I hope you know the difference between these two words: gentle and quiet. While you might be described as gentle when in fact you are quiet, it is also important that you have not confused shyness for being reserved.
Depending on some natural traits and environment, the degree of shyness in our personalities differs.
Everybody has the tendency to be shy, in fact , everybody should be shy by default on some occasions, especially where shamefacedness is required.
On first exposure to a new environment both the timid and bold tend to be shy, but the boldness or charisma of the bold brews confidence/courage in them, and thus become well adjusted to that environment.
The tendency to be shy still exists in some persons who claimed not timid, but had not discovered because they had 'never' been alone. You might not know persons with that defect amongst friend, or on familiar domain. The only way you can know how timid/shy you are is to see yourself:
- Contribute or not contribute in a discussion where not only your friends are present.
- Give or not give your opinion among experts or the elderly,
- Meet new persons who by their performance are better than you or are older than you are, or otherwise.
- Asking or not asking questions from persons of opposite sex who are 'better than' you, or otherwise.
- Asking or not asking questions from a female friend or stranger who is among her friends (females, most likely). I am certain , this affect males seriously, I am not too sure it affect females as much, but I must not assume too much.
I have had firsthand experience of each of these categories, they were avenues for which my confidence grew to what it is currently, and except you choose to brace up too, that is, if you had not succeeded in terms of those checks or similar ones, you will constantly be shy/ timid to a fault.
Why is it important we overcome timidity early in life?
- The bible's message from its Genesis to Revelation discourages timidity; it rather encourage us, makes us bold and fills us with courage and more than enough "fear nots". This is an important point if the message of the bible holds sway in your life as life's ultimate book. From it, the bible, you are sure to be freed from timidity, if it is worse as a disease for you.
I will like to imagine how many times we have heard encouraging words like this, but I cannot but be amazed at how many have the courage to stand.
I have not known a speaker who is never anxious at speaking before an unusual crowd; they are afraid , but they still go ahead in doing what they want to do. So will you.
There are so many things to discourage you , and make you afraid of talking. Yeah, I understand that you are quiet and a bit introverted , and all stuffs, but these and any other reason you may have, not to be courageous, are not enough excuse to stop your life. I suppose a life not expressed is not worth living, or why do you think many chose to die over life in servitude and or hindered freedom?
- Timidity leads to loss of opportunities. I remember a time when my boldness was growing a bit faster than my fears , and in those times I learnt a big lesson. I have a friend who is older and more vast in bible knowledge than I was, but in a critical moment, myself and several others who chose to overcome timidity went ahead of him to obtain prizes he would have gotten excellently if it had been a regular competition, but this competition is unusual, every participant is a winner, both people like myself who are too shy to face the crowd and those who are not bothered by the audience. For the fact that we chose to step out made the coordinator believed we can do what we boldly came out for. It was not luck, it was a question of being confident in one's ability and stepping forward to prove. Who would not have been able to recite 5 out of 10 memory verses required? Such opportunities will always come, but except we choose to be bold despite timidity, they will keep passing us by. The precious word in the previous sentence is 'despite'- we always have the tendency to fear, to shake and tremble , but despite that shakiness and racing heart, we speak , we approach and we perform.
- Timidity delays and denies us improvement, when we give in to our fears. At such times we are denied of corrections from appropriate quarters. Such is the case of a shy student who fails to ask questions
A timid person had not understood that 'dirt is good'. He always thought he has an ego/personality to project and a name to protect, when in actual sense h should be rubbished that he might be polished, and thus become better and brighter; but because he is not bold, he is yet to be seen as gold.
- Timidity increases character defect and mount up iniquity against God and others. Timidity opens door to wrong evaluation of others who are just taking their time to show, despite, as proud, but in actual fact we are the culprits who are being jealous. Removal of this log from our eye will automatically remove the speck in others eye.
- Timidity breeds, from jealousy, complaint finger-pointing and discouragement to others. This shows that timidity, although, a personal defect, affect others. This is also an important reason why we must do away with the disease and its symptoms NOW.
When you are pointing fingers, condemning people that they are proud, you can check yourself in this light:
CONCLUSION: There is difference between putting up of appearance and participation. When you put up appearance , you are seen; whey you participate you are felt. Check yourself, have you subdued your shyness enough to be felt, or are you still putting up performance?
Participation differs from putting up performances. Putting up performances is hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is a means of losing identity, originality, credibility and creativity. When identity is lost, relevance is also compromised, this implies loss of impact.
Being bold is like hitting a nail squarely on its head; the impact is felt, and no damage is done to the nail, but putting up appearances as if you had subdued your fear when you have not, is like missing the nails head slightly; the effort is wasted, the nail is bent, the wood wounded, but no positive outcome, plus, you too can get a swollen finger or a dislodged fingernail.
Be bold, be courageous, you can do what you are afraid of. You can talk. Talk. Ask questions, start practicing approaching people in your environment, older and better or and of opposite sex. Use your home advantage now that you have the advantage, when your little confidence can grow; foreign environment will be more hostile, there, little confidence dries off, only the courageous survive its heat.
Being confident is not equal to not having racing heart, growing sweat beads or a rough and wacky startups, but it is speaking despite, acting despite, doing your performance despite. It is not also equal to a hitch free performance or 'show', but does include: repeating despite, undoing and redoing despite and dragging yourself along despite, the boo notwithstanding.
Courage is keeping the 'going' going when boldness that pushed you in is mocking.
You can do more than your peak, you can do the peak not just because it is in you, but because your light has come.
Arise, stand and shine for… I guess its show time.